About 2 months ago, my wife found a picture that of my private parts that I had shared with another female online. When we discussed that, I came clean about a lot of the porn that I had been looking at and chat online that had occurred, for how long it had been going on, I tried to spare her details that would in sure hurt her farther. She had woken me up to confront me on it and after a brief talk, I went back to sleep. In the following days, I remembered hearing about XXXChurch.com and looked it up, it was then that I saw a post mentioning James 4:7 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Not really knowing where to turn, I took that verse to heart and simply spent a lot more time reading the bible, it took me about a month to get thru James, Acts, Romans, Ephesians, & the Gospels. The work God had been doing in my life was incredible to me, God had put me in a place where I was literally having conversations with pastors of different churches almost daily, gaining from their insight. More importantly, I felt like even as I was reading the word, and questions arose, God would answer that question by a conversation with a pastor, a radio sermon, or in the bible (note: I wasn't looking things up in the bible, I was simply reading through book by book). God was communicating with me by various means and while I was astonished by his presence in my life, I didn't feel like I was ready to make Jesus my Lord and Savior. I felt like I was not worthy to call him Lord because I was selfish and doubted my ability to completely give up my will to him. I still wanted porn and chat. With more talking with a pastor, I was sure that making Jesus my Lord and my Savior, the devil would have no power over me. And so on August 13th @ 2pm, I asked Jesus to be my Savior, and asked him to dwell in me. Oh man was I mistaken, the devil pulls and grabs at me all the time, at home, at my work, at the grocery store. Time & time again, I am tempted and I have on multiple occasions fallen short of the Glory of God, continuing to ask for forgiveness and grace. I feel like Satan knows that Jesus is withing me and he keeps giving me shots to the head and body, like Satan keeps telling me that I'm not good enough for Jesus. I am hurting inside, Jesus is convicting me even as I type this that I don't need to keep fighting this fight, I just need to utterly rely on his word. I wish it was easier to submit fully. If this post has no organization, I apologize.