I know with all my heart that God has anointed and appointed me. I know I strive to follow Him, I know I do my best to serve Him, and I know by faith I am saved. All my life, I've thought God wanted me to be perfect so confessing the fact I have an addiction to porn and masterbation really sucks. I know I'm not supposed to be perfect, but I sometimes feel like I should. Jesus doesn't want me to serve anyone other than Him but I always fail, which makes me push God away because I feel like I can never measure up to what He wants me to be. Recently, I got Into a relationship with a boy I grew up with in Church. He's not perfect either and deals with porn too. He has more discipline and more self control than I do, so when we begin discussing impure things, he tells me to quit. He's incredible but Because I suffer from trying to be perfect, I think I push him to be perfect too, and I feel like I have way too high standards for Him to meet and I'm impatient for him to meet them. A few days ago, we got on the topic of our "private parts" and by the end of the night, he had a full blown erection from the topic I brought up. I encouraged the conversation and remained vulgar until he got the erection, like I wanted to see it. It made me sick, and it made me realize how much lust has overcome me. Today I write to reach out. I know God is working in both of us, but I'm scared we will keep messing up.. What should we do? Should we work on this individually and together as a couple or just individually? I feel like it's important that we work together as a couple but it's also important that I stop holding myself and Him to the level of perfection.