I have been watching porn ever since I was 6. I was molested when I was 6 by a step-uncle and ever since, I have been overtaken by it. I started out with books I found of my moms boyfriends, then I saw my mother engaged. After that, my step cousins had me perform sexual acts with them when I was 6. When I was 7 a best friend of mine (girl) touched me down there and it has been down hill since then. When I was 17 me and a friend from high school experimented with one another and that just pushed the desire for women through the roof. Although, I do not deire to be in a relationship with a woman, I have found myself wanting to relive the moment. When I first met my husband, I was open about my addiction to porn, masterbating, and women and he said he was fine with that. Later on down the line, he told me that he never was and it actually made him distrust me with women. He would get upset with me when he found out I would watch porn any chance I got, but later admitted that he watches it a lot too. The problem is that my husband has just recently stepped over the line and actually touch a woman down there and the sick part is that...I was jealous. I felt like how come he got to and the whole time I have been struggling with the temptation of watching it and thinking about past experiences. I really am at my wits end and I am tired of this secret controlling my life and love for my husband. I find myself wondering if he really thinks about the women he watches when we are together and convincing myself that it is ok for me to look at it if he can cheat (wrond way of thinking I know). I have never reached out for help before, but I was apart of a learning series at my church where XXXChurch were guest speakers and it made me move forward with help. I know that I shouldn't have been exposed to sex at a young age and that it is time to be honest about it possibly damaging my life. I have always thought of it as just clean fun, but I now know that not to be true. It is an addiction just like any other that have withdrawals, relapses, and binges. PLEASE HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH A TAINTED MIND. I AM OVER SEXED IN MY MIND AND I NEED A NORMAL LIFE!