So I have grown up in the church and have been very active from high school on. I struggled with porn and masterbation for years. I made a choice to really seek God and porn just wasn't a struggle anymore but I still delt with masterbation on and off. I got to a point in collage when I couldn't handle hiding anymore I told God help me get this off my chest or let me go. I was in Mexico on a mission trip and a former youth leader let me cry my eyes out on her shoulder I was too embarrassed to tell her but as I walked away God brought a young women over she simply said can we talk. We sat on a mond of dirt and before I could think of what to say she blurts out how she struggles with masterbation. I laughed and said me to I didn't know who to tell and that was it. I found out what it was to confess and be free. After a few years I found myself struggling again and faithfully God brought someone to me again that blurted out their struggle before I could. I have found myself struggling so much reading stories And almost watching porn again. I guess I just need to tell on myself and this is where I find myself for the forth time. I want freedom. Even though I know the power of my savior that not only will he take me where I am but he will use my shameful past for his glory. I was comforted by someone's confessions and I know I could be that for someone too. I am so scared and ashamed I can't really see that. I am writing this as a profession that all my mistakes and shame will be washed away. I am trusting that all of me the good and the bad He will use to bring Him glory. I will not be a wasted life of self indulgence but I will yell a loud NO at Satan and he will flee. I am ready to fight, to do whatever it takes to honor Him.
