Why cant I stop masturbating? I am a 26 year old girl and because of sexual abuse I experienced 3 years ago, I don't like to be touched or be alone with anyone of the opposite sex for any longer than a couple of minutes. I can't trust them. Even when I know they are good, moral guys, and I know they are worried about me, I can't let them be close to me. The events from my past always bring back that choking fear, and then the loneliness I felt afterward washes over me and I'm suddenly touching myself, and I cant stop. I lay there, knowing it's wrong and I cant stop. I took the test to see if I'm addicted, and my result is I'm a sex addict? But it was only that one time... When I'm finally done touching my self, I hurt all over. I feel so dirty and I don't know what to do. I'm in pain and I'm already so tired. I would surf the web for ours watching homemade porn after touching myself, but know my X3watch protection keeps me from that, but how can I protect myself from masturbation? I touched myself today. now I feel all crawly and gross. I cant leave my room, I couldn't even move for what felt like hours. It took all the emotional effort I have to get up and come here to ask for help. Is this all there is? Is this what I'm going to be for the rest of my life. I'm an adult, yet I can't even control what my body does or wants. I can't control my fear of men and I can't forget the images and words from porn and pornographic stories from popping in my head whenever they want. I'm a good person, and a strong woman. I believe that God loves all his children, and Christ gave his life for all of us to be saved from sin. I feel so depressed, I just want to feel loved again. I don't want to be alone and frightened. I reach out to all of you now, men and women. Please help me.