I am a single woman whos been a Christian for 8 years now. I went to a talk lastnight at my church. The talk was about relationships,sex and intermacy. At first I wasn't going to go because in my head I was saying, been there done that, what can they tell me that I don't all ready know. Well...They got onto the subject of porn and it hit me like a ton of bricks!! I tried so hard to fight back the tears. It all came flooding back. I was abused when I was 7 by a teenage female family member. She introduced me to a magazine and while I was living with her she would act out what was in the pages on me. I remember it didn't feel right and I felt dirty afterwards. Well that has followed me all my life since. I was so exposed to porn it became normal but I realise now that that was just a catalist and it made me confused about my sexuallity, sleeping around and I can't even remember ever having sex with someone sober. It has always been either drugged up or drunk or stoned or all the above. I always feel so dirty afterwards that I never want to see the person again even if they want to see me. Which has made a huge impact on relationships for me. At the talk they told us about this site so last night when I got back I opened it. I did the test and wham! I'm a sex addict! I think I always knew that too but this and the porn have been so instilled in me I just thougth this was my life. I confessed to a good friend that I had a vibrator and that I wanted to and need to get rid of it. So I put it in a plastic bag and got a hammer and smashed it to pieces. My friend took it away and we prayed for the soul ties to be broken and I felt like such a weight had been lifted, but I got up this morning and was just bathing in Our Fathers word and soaking in his Love and I came back onto this site and was reading some of the confessions and found myself feeling those feeling again and someone mentioned something that I didn't know what it was so I left the site and looked it up and blam straight away in the blink of an eye there was a clip of all these guys gangbanging a girl and although I felt disgusted it turned me on and I relieved myself. I started crying straight after, but you know what? I know I'm messed up and I have issues but I also know my Father Loves me and He bought this all up again so I can deal with and end it once and for all. I know I might fall down again but as Gods word says...A saint is just a sinner who keeps getting up. I am confessing this today to everyone out there who reads this. Being bound up in these chains is NOT what God wants for our lives Jeremiah 29-11 says For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. I encourage all of you, when you feel like I have even today just get your bibles out ask for forgiveness and draw closer to him because the enemy wants to put a block between us and God because he knows what God has planned for us and he doesn't want us to succeed. God Loves me and God Loves you xxxxxxxx