I am so thankful for the grace of God. And I am so thankful that even as I feel like I have been plunged into the depths of sin through porn and masturbation, I am incredibly thankful for the way that I have seen the love and grace and mercy of God reach me even in those depths. But I am also incredibly frustrated with myself. I am 22, and porn and masturbation have been an addiction in my life for nearly three years, and it is suffocating. I have a mentor who I talk about my addiction with. God has graciously begun to show me that his glory is worth so much more than my sinful pleasures. I see the value of scripture memorization and prayer in my life, how those disciplines turn my mind towards Christ. But I still mess up and I still sin. I realize that the temptation of sexual sin is not vanquished overnight, and my mind will not be rewired and restored in Christ overnight, but right now I feel so defeated. I feel the chains of shame and guilt oppressing me, and I realize that the shame is the weapon of the enemy. The devil seeks to kill, steal, and destroy, and in my life he has killed me so often with the shame. And so I need to confess to my brothers and sisters in Christ that I'm finding myself so overwhelmed by how difficult it is to press on through all the sin towards Christ. In my head I know that it is a divine intervention by God that breaks the strongholds of my sin, but I also feel like in this moment it's hard to believe that anything could break this stronghold that has overpowered my life. I am so in need of the divine grace and help of God, and I am so grateful that I know he is going to give it.