I hate myself.

I have struggled with masturbation since I was 12 years old. that makes 7 years now. Recently I started viewing pornography as a turn on or whatever. And I honestly feel like I am the only girl I know who struggles with this. I am so ashamed of myself. Literately I can not stand it. But I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I am going to be judged if I tell anyone. I am looked up to as a good example for so many people and I just don't want to let them down, but at the same time I'm dying. I just don't know what to do.