Im am a 29 year old woman who has recently come back to Christ and been baptized. The problem Im faced with is that Im still living my old life. I have had very long standing bad habits with sex since I was 15. I lost my virginity then. The day after my 18th birthday I had an abortion. I've always struggled with my value as a woman.... if I couldnt please a man sexually then what was I to him? I still face this problem today.... I want to be seen as valuable to a man so I sleep with him, that and I want to feel loved. Recently Ive been involved with a lot of online dating sites looking for sex. Its been so hard to stop when internet is the only "extra" I allow myself *I dont have cable and dont watch a lot of movies*. Its been so bad. Ive started talking to so many guys that I cant even keep them straight. I've met 5 of them in person....all for just sex. I put myself in financial hardship to meet one of them, just for 45 mins of sex after driving an hour and a half to see them. I've also had sex with three different men in the same day. All of them Ive met online. While its happening all I can think about is how Im pleasing them, even if Im not being pleased. Then a few days pass and I feel almost sick over it. What sort of woman have I become? How do I stop this cycle? I tell myself "If I found a boyfriend this would be so much easier" but would it really? I highly doubt it, the need to please him would still be there. So how do I save myself?