Women - Confessions

I have struggled with porn since elementary school. I've tried everything to be rid of it. I've prayed, gotten an accountability partner (though she now thinks I haven't viewed it in 2 years because I stumbled this summer) and have read books and listened to messages on this subject. I always think it's helped but then I stumble. The longest I have gone without viewing porn was a year which is kind of incredible for me. I boasted to my friends that I was set free but knowing I just stumbled is shaming. I went to a Bible school and even now minister to others. I don't feel worthy enough to share Jesus' love to anyone. I know I am an utter hypocrite. Nobody even suspects I have this addiction. I almost want to be caught so someone will help me. I wish there were a rehab for this sort of thing! It really is an addiction because when I try to stop or avoid it, I start feeling like an addict does without cocaine -- sometimes shaking from pressure. To anyone out there struggling, you are not alone. Even though we may feel like scum, Jesus has not left us. There must be hope. He must be stronger than all this. Right?